It has always been easy to fall in love. The harder part is to pick yourself up after the great fall.

The fallen have broadly taken up one of the two perspectives on life beyond the break-up. There are those who believe that true love happens only once in a lifetime. And there are those that believe otherwise.

The fundamental difference between the two lies in the way they answer the question, Kya pyaar sirf ek baar hota hai? An argument between the two schools of thought would be something like this.

A: To love someone means to hold your partner at a special place and according the highest concern and regards. The passion for the partner never reduces and the feeling is eternal. The special one is placed above self and their position is irreplaceable. After an unfortunate break up, the feelings and emotions for that special someone does not ebb away. The partners may physically separate, but the feelings for each other remain intact.

B: One of the characteristics of true lovers is that they remain themselves while they are with each other. In other words, to love someone is nothing but to remain in peace with him/her just as much as you are with yourself. However, like most of the emotions, love is a sub-conscious act and hence dynamic in nature. If the passion and feeling can build up over time, it is also natural that it may reduce over time. After an unfortunate break up and physical separation, the passion dries up over time.

A: The essence of true love is that the passion is absolute and the feelings eternal. What can ebb away over time could not have been true love in the first place. Even after the separation, the heart will forever long for that special one. The body can be chained, not the heart. However hard one tries to find love with somebody else; he/she would still be the ‘other person’.

B: Love is an emotion that requires people to open up to each other. It is essential for one to understand the other just as they are and accept them as such. Even as the passion demands trust and frankness, it is not person dependant. Given the time and willingness to open up to people, it is definitely possible to rekindle the same spark. It is to be understood that it wasn’t fake the first time or any less sacred now.

A: What most people resort to after an unfortunate break up is try to accommodate one more person in their heart. But the human heart, just like the brain, when once stretched beyond a limit, does not return to the original state. As the special someone can never be dethroned from the heart, the ‘other person’, in most of the cases never commands that kind of passion and remains unaware of this as well. The relationship is endured more as a duty than anything else.

B: To love is to feel; to feel special. The emotion is dynamic and cannot be forced. The feeling of love is something that is discovered gradually. Sadly, any discovery pursued with pre determined ends is no discovery at all. The worse duty that there could be is to forcefully carry forward a passionless relationship.

All said and done, there cannot be a blanket right/wrong to the matters that concerns love. As Pascal has rightly said, “The heart has its reasons, the reason knows not of”.

Note: This post is originally written for BlogJunta. The content has been reproduced here with permission.

9 Replies to “Can you find true love more than once ?”

  1. It is easy to debate on both the sides, but can you follow both???

    This is what i gotta say.. love has different definitions. definition of love comes form individuals experience. what ever may be the definition.. one thing is true, love grows with time.. this world has so many things to offer, am sure if one love has ended due to some inevitable reasons there ll be one more waiting to be discovered. It may have a different meaning.. if we are open, we ll be able to enjoy what life has to give and show us.. the transition is very tough but its not impossible.

  2. 🙂
    It's not something that can end at one point and restart at another… It's like a puzzle… With each passing day, one piece of the puzzle is added… One fine day, you know that you've completed the puzzle, and that's when you know that this person was the final piece of the puzzle – she/he completed it for you… that's why she/he is special.. and no amount of time will reduce this feeling. People try different things – get involved in too much work, try to divert attention, etc. to get away from a breakup (and call it moving on!)… But, truly, they're never moving on…

    It's all about facing these things, and accepting the fact that you love this person, and that's it. It's beautiful. True love never fades… It only matures with time… Then you understand that it's actually very nice to love and be loved.. And that's when you truly move on and appreciate everything in life… 🙂

  3. @Raghav: A very close friend told me, "True love happens only once. What happens after is pretension, compromise and an eternity of convincing yourself otherwise".
    Well, the first part made sense. I am yet to understand the second part in its entirety.

  4. 🙂 just trying to say something about moving on… it is never really good to take our minds off that person or getting involved in too much work or whatever… because, that way people are just hiding their feelings in the closet… one needs to face it and understand that that break up could have happened for a variety of reasons – main reason being that they were two different people (mind you everyone has a unique-thinking mind of their own) – so there may be no justification for the break up.. but still, if you really loved that person, accept that, understand that it is very nice to actually love a person… smile about it… and that's when you actually move on… may be what I say doesn't make sense.. but, that's what I understand…

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