IPL 1:
  • Indian cricket team has recently become the world champions of T20 cricket. 
  • A billion cricket crazy people are hungry for more T20 action. Mr. Lalit Modi caters to the demand. 
  • Bollywood & Corporate India buy stake in cricket. 
  • Corporate India expects that their efforts pay off. Dr. Mallya realizes that not all investments yield handsome returns. 
  • The dutiful citizens of India endure the masala version of the game. 
IPL 2:
  • Modi takes ‘Indian’ Premier League to RSA. That’s SACRILEGE – It’s like the world cup played on Jupiter. But  that doesn’t bother cricket fans one bit.
  • k..k…k… King Khan learns a lesson. Hype and over the top publicity can sell stuff like ‘OSO’ and not ‘KKR’. Poor performance of the team and ‘fakeiplplayer’ add to his worries.
  • Models don the role of expert commentators and cheerleaders get more popular than some of the players.
  • The dutiful citizens of India silently endure

IPL 3:
  • Movie makers refrain from releasing their movies during the IPL season. IPL matches instead get screened on the silver screens.
  • Terminologies of the game change. A hit for six runs become ‘DLF Maximum‘, A significant wicket becomes ‘Citi moment of success‘. A mundane catch becomes, ‘Karbon Kamaal Catch‘ & a dumb blinking balloon becomes the mark of ‘Cricketing Excellence‘ of a nation. 
  • The drummers, Bhangra dancers, DJ’s become mandatory at every ground. Cheerleaders get more cheekier with every passing game. 
  • Enjoying the madness (dubbed as sporting ambiance) at the stadium becomes the prime interest of the crowd. Cricket being just a pretext.
  • The dutiful citizens from the land-of-Gandhi endure
IPL 4: 
  • After every ball, the cameraman points to a random billboard and the commentator dutifully delivers the rehearsed phrases. 
  • Katrina Kaif, Deepika Padukone and the other brand ambassadors of the teams share space with the cheerleaders to improve the visibility of the team.
  • BCCI allows the suspension of the team logo from the helmet so as to accommodate that of another sponsor. 
  • BCCI introduces variable pay for the players. The payment made being directly proportional to the value they can earn the team though Ad’s and other promotional events. 
  • The dutiful citizens of BharatVarsh endure.

IPL 5:
  • KKR team players perform item numbers at all metro as a part of the teams PR activity.
  • Political parties buy out IPL teams. They implement reservation system in bid to improve representation from the backward sections of the community.
  • IPL cricketers campaign at the political rallies as a part of PR/Team building activity.
  • The dutiful citizens of the country endure.

 IPL 6:
  • SBI offers insurance for IPL teams covering their financial losses.
  • The cricket bat is replaced with baseball bat for IPL. Over 500 ‘DLF Maximums‘ get pounded. Commentators opine that IPL is not toptally a batsman’s game. There is still something for the talented bowlers.
  • Trailers of the upcoming movies are played at the Eden Gardens between the overs. 
  • Corporate movies are shown at Wankhede during the strategic time outs. 
  • RCB offers welcome drink (no prize for guessing which brand) to the audience at their home pitch.
  • The dutiful citizens of the country endure.

IPL 7:
  • I admit. I cannot think of anything more bizarre and demeaning about the game. 
  • But I am sure, if something worse was still to happen, the dutiful citizens of India will endure.

5 Replies to “IPL Season 4,5,6 and beyond”

  1. @ Mitch: On a serious note, I'm worried about the blasphemy done to the GAME under the pretext of commercialization. If the game changes @ the rate we are witnessing, it'll soon become as hollow and fake as recent bollywood blockbusters.

    @ Subho: Is that what CRICKET has come 2 become? A COMPANY… If that is true, Mr. Modi will soon be pushed to increase the revenue YoY. That's when both playing sides of the game will lose in every match (figuratively speaking).

    @ Gaurav & Akhi: THNQ …

  2. Ha ha lol, nice one. I liked the last part, "the dutiful citizens of India will endure."

    U could add more though
    KKR gives away free tickets for people who buy VIP seats. Ambani would give reliance phones for people who would join the cheerleaders and "encourage" the players to "play better"

    Preity would give her warm hugs to players every time a wicket is taken. Big B n family would be probed in for Mumbai Indians

    Kochi would probe in Mamooty
    CSK batsmen would take tips from Rajnikanth on how to send a yorker bashing out of the stadium

    Shilpa would cook the food for all her team members using her new recipes and ready to eat foods, so they can hit more "DLF maximums"

    The list is endless… but I agree no matter what ever happens we would continue to endure no matter which ever part of the world we are, no matter what ever time it is for us. Nothing would be more important than an IPL match……….

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